Is it OK for a parent to email a college coach?

By Jason Bolton May 25, 2023 15:50

Photo by ncsasports

As the college recruiting process has gotten more competitive, so too have parents. Parents have a great deal to do with helping their high schoolers apply and then encouraging them in the recruiting process further down the line. And yet when it comes to being the main communicator with college coaches, many parents do not know how much is too much. Sometimes we are asked about sending emails to college coaches.

The brief answer is, yes it's okay for parents to email college coaches. Most coaches want to hear from parents (as long as it's done professionally and respectfully). But there are things parents need to keep in mind so that their talk yields results and does not harm the chances of being recruited for their son or daughter.

Above all, parents also need to understand that primary coach-athlete communication should take place from athlete to coach. They want an idea of who the athlete is and how they deal with people. Parents should, therefore, empower their kids to drive conversations with coaches. What does this mean in practice: Reaching out, answering emails and phone calls promptly, showing up on recruiting visits.

However, there are times when it might be acceptable and/or necessary for parents to contact coaches. It may be necessary for parents, to inform the coaches about injuries and forced absences from programmed workouts due to their children. Also — if a parent is worried about how things are going in their child's recruitment, the parent may need to send coaches an email seeking clarification or some feedback.

Whether you or your student-athlete are emailing coaches, there are a few strict guidelines that every parent must follow. They have to keep the message concise. As a coach, myself I receive so many emails every day from athletes and business opportunities that the LONG paragraphs of someone telling me THEIR story aren't as inspirational.

Furthermore, asking for anything works even worse because it makes you look so desperate and unprofessional. Instead, it is important to ask questions or give information that will help the coach learn more about their child.

Parents should also refrain from speaking disparagingly about other coaches or programs. This can give a negative impression and ruin their child's chances of having himself recruited. Instead, the emphasis with parents should be on telling their children how well they are doing in school and demonstrating interest in playing for this team and fitting into what these guys do.

The choice of whether to bring your parents on a visit is unique and one that you need to make based on various factors. There should be cautions against becoming too reliant. While some coaches like to have one-on-one meetings with the kids, others are more than happy for parents to sit in. Either way, communication between the coaching staff and with each other will be crucial to guarantee a successful and positive recruiting experience.

Not to worry, if parents do go on recruiting visits they need to realize that their role is as a parent or support person behind the scenes and not in front of dynamic. For instance, making sure that children do nearly all of the talking with their coaches and resisting any parental urge to interject or speak on behalf of them. In addition, parents must be respectful of the time and schedule of coaches; they should not try to monopolize their attention or ask too many questions.

As a general rule, it is fine for parents to email college coaches. Again, they should do so professionally and respectfully while making it clear early on that their child is the one who needs to be leading ALL communication. Similarly, parents can inadvertently hurt their children by playing too large a role in the recruiting process or speaking for them. Parents can serve as an asset to the college sports process. Maintain strong communication and show respect during the recruitment experience!